See the line at the bottom of the washing machine? That's at least 4 inches of water on the basement floor. Now why is the sump pump unusable, you ask? Because the hole for it is uphill. Yeah. I know. But it only takes a few days of no rain for the water to seep back into the concrete and disappear. (The water level is actually the water table seeping up through the floor. If the foundation were not permeable the house could float away.) Okey dokey, Mr. Landlord.
Except that the water level rose to the hot water heater's pilot light and extinguished that sucker. That got the landlord's attention. He called his trusty plumber to come over with his portable pump (Home Depot 's rentals were all accounted for -- all their for-sale ones too) to suck the place dry.
It only took hours for the floor to be flood-free and ready for installation of our new hot water heater. (This comes on the heels of our pre-Christmas destruction of the furnace and tankless water heater. We were acting on the landlord's instructions -- we were pretty sure -- but the appliance had issues and apparently we had misunderstood the procedure for keeping hot water in the house, and kablooey. After that debacle he installed just a regular 40-gallon tank water heater.) He has an order in for the next available sump pump, with brand new hole to be drilled downhill. And we have a brand new 50-gallon flood-impermeable water heater. The landlord's sarcastic instructions for use? "Try to break this one." Sounds like a challenge to me.